


Not How You Imagined

by Because_Kling



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-13
Updated: 2019-02-15
Packaged: 2019-08-23 07:59:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16615010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Because_Kling/pseuds/Because_Kling
Summary: *This is more of a redo of one I had started a couple years ago. I realized that I hadn't been doing myself or the work I had started justice. So I took some time to start rewriting. Thank you to those of you who stuck with the first attempt.*Tobin has loved Alex from the moment she set eyes on her. Alex had fallen far slower. Neither one wants to admit their feelings. While everyone else knows the two are so blinded by their own feelings that they cannot see it. One night everything changes. How will Tobin recover? Will Alex stick by her? Will Tobin let her? This isn't how they imagined things would go, but can they still make it work?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey team, like I said in the description this is the redo of this general plot line. I hope you enjoy it. I am leaving the other one up for a little bit to help redirect everyone ever to this one. I hope it's better. Let me know if you hate it so I can start throwing in some changes early. Much Love.

Pain. All Tobin can feel is pain. Pain and someone holding her hand. Who is that? She asked herself as she tried to push away the pain. Her ears were ringing, but she was starting to be able to make out other noises. Voices. No, just one voice. A voice she would know anywhere. In any crowd. Alex. It was Alex, her Alex. Her best friend. But there was something different. Something off about her voice. She seemed sad.

“Everyone misses you still Toby. Season is about to start and I know the Thorns all want you on the sideline watching. It’s okay if you aren’t ready yet. I will still come see you every day and give you all the details. Allie misses you a lot. She is coming by later to see you.”

Tobin could hear how sad her best friend was. She could tell that this was weighing on her. She wanted to look at her, but she couldn't get her eyes to open. She kept listening as she tried to pry her eyes open. “Doc says your ribs are healing nicely, and that your brain function is growing every day. He is hoping you’ll wake up soon. We all are. Your parents and siblings are still taking shifts being up here with me. It’s nice to have someone here to take in all the medical information.” Good at least she isn’t alone. Tobin wasn't sure what happened or why she still couldn't open her eyes, but she knew Alex was okay and that was enough for her. “Doc also said that as long as your organs are still working well and you are still moving in a positive direction that there is still hope. Not that we would give up hope on you either way, but you are starting to worry us a bit love. We have so much to talk about when you wake up, and you have a lot of decisions to make. You may not even want me here after what I did.”

No. I want you here Al. Tobin thought to herself. Praying she could just talk to the girl she loves. Tell her everything was okay and that she was forgiven. She can remember the last time she talked to the younger girl, and it wasn't pretty. She doesn’t want that to be the last thing she says to her. “We are all pulling for you Tobs.” 

Tobin could feel something damp on her arm and she heard some sniffling. It clicked in her head that the younger girl was crying. This pushed Tobin over the edge she needed to break through the fog just a little. She used all of her focus to squeeze the younger girl’s hand. She isn't sure if it worked or not until she feels Alex move. 

The younger girl tenses up for a moment. She wasn’t she what she felt or if she felt anything, but she didn't want to move her hand. She moved the rest of her body and brought her free hand to grip the one she just felt Tobin move, “Tobs? Can you do that again? Can you squeeze my hand again?” Tobin does. Things are getting a little easier. “Okay Toby, I have to go get a nurse or someone. I will be right back I promise.” Tobin squeezed one more time. She didn’t want Alex to leave but she knew she had to, “I know love,” Alex bent down and placed a soft kiss on Tobin’s forehead before sprinting out of the room. 

The fog was slowly subsiding more and more as Tobin tried to focus, but it was becoming tiring. She was able to open her eyes a little as Alex was rushing back into the room with a nurse. The light was hurting her eyes and causing her to squint, but she could actually see Alex and that was enough for her. “Lex,” she managed to croak out. For the first time she realized how dry her mouth and throat were. She felt like she had been drinking sand. 

“Hey Toby,” Tobin could hear the excitement and relief in the younger girl’s voice as she made eye contact. “I missed you.”

Before Tobin could say anything the nurse cut in, “don’t try to talk sweetie. Your throat is probably pretty dry still.” Tobin nodded in responses to let her know she understood, but she had to close her eyes again because of the light. “Alex honey turn the lights out for me please. There how’s that Tobin, can you try opening your eyes again?” She did. This time the only light was from the window. She could see more of the room and finally see Alex. “Better?” Tobin nodded looking around the room slowly before locking her eyes on Alex. She was looking her over to make sure she was okay physically. She looked tired, but otherwise okay. “Alright how's your pain level?” Tobin responded by lifting her hand and moving it in a “so so” motion. “Good, I’ll take that for now. Okay, all your numbers look fine and you are looking around and seem alert. I’m going to page you Doctor. Do you want me to adjust the bed before you leave?” Tobin looked back to the nurse and nodded. They got Tobin sat up and drinking water, with instructions to take is slow so she didn’t make herself sick.

Alex just stared at the older girl. She almost seemed timid. Like she would hurt her if she touched her. Tobin reached her hand out and Alex laced her fingers in Tobin’s before letting out a small smile and a tear. “Don’t cry Al,” Tobin managed to croak out. 

“I can't help it Toby, I’ve missed you. Missed seeing your beautiful eyes and hearing your voice. Even if it is a little raspier than usual right now. It’s been too long.”

“How long?” Tobin wasn't sure how long she'd been out. She doesn't even know what happened to get her here.

“What do you remember?” Alex didn't want to say too much. The Doctor told them in the beginning that they would need to let Tobin figure out some things on her own when she woke up. 

“Not much. I remember the fight and then walking out the door. What happened Al?”

“How about we wait until Doc comes in to check you. Besides, I need to call you mom. She’s at the apartment now taking a shower. Your family has been doing shifts on who stays with me. We wanted to make sure someone was here at all times, and they insisted it not be me 24/7 so I could get some sleep and go to training. Though I haven’t been sleeping much anyway. I hated being away from you. Even to go to training.” 

“Yeah, good plan. I’m sorry Al.”

“You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for.”

Before Tobin could answer the man she could only assume was her Doctor entered the room. “Hi Tobin, it’s nice to finally meet you for real. I’m Dr. Thomas. I have been taking care of you. Myself and a couple other doctors.”

“I needed multiple?”

“Well, we needed a couple specialists and we have become very invested in you. Your ER doctor still checks on you pretty much every day. Now, I’m just going to do some basic checks right now. Then I’ll let Alex and your mom tell you more about what we know happened and what is going on. How does that sound?” 

“Yeah, that sounds good. Thanks Dr. Thomas.” 

“No problem Tobin, and you can call me just Doc if you want.” Dr. Thomas started to check her machines and IV. He paused before continuing, “I will have someone take you to get that feeding tube taken out. You don’t really need it anymore if you since you are awake.”

“Thanks Doc,” Tobin was starting to notice more and more and the feeding tube was definitely uncomfortable. 

“Don’t thank me just yet,” Doc smiled, “it’s not going to be a fun process and you will still be on soft foods for a couple of meals. Your body has to get use to real food again. Okay, I need to check the bruising on your ribs and stomach. Is that okay?”

“Yeah Doc, I assume at this point you've seen most if not all of me right?”

“This is true, but I just want to make sure you are comfortable now that I can actually as you.”

“I appreciate that,” with some assistance from Alex, Tobin was able to maneuver so that her abdomen was visible without her being completely indecent. When Tobin looked at her stomach something seemed off. She couldn't see her normally toned stomach and abs. She told herself it was probably from not moving for who knows how long. “How long was I out?” she blurted out.

“Well, I’ll be honest. It’s been a while so your muscles are bound to feel weaker than ever. Even weaker than after a full 90 and overtime. But I am going to let your family talk to you about those details. Okay?”

“Yeah Doc. I remember hearing Alex saying something before I started to wake up. Something about my ribs. Are they okay?”

“Well, you had several broken ribs on each side, and normally all we do for that is wrap you up and tell you to try not to move, but because you weren’t doing a whole lot of moving they were able to heal nicely and are almost back to normal. The bruising is mostly gone, but you may still feel a little sore.”

“Out for that long huh?” Tobin turned to Alex, “I’m so sorry Lex.”

“Tobin, you didn’t do anything wrong, and you came back to us. That is all that matters now.”

“Alright, everything looks good on my end of things. I will let the other Doctors know what is going on and that you are awake, but I will wait a little bit and give you to some time. There are some things Alex needs to talk to you about before some of them come in here.” 

Dr. Thomas exited the room before Tobin could ask any more questions. She turned to Alex confused, “Al, what is he talking about? What's wrong with me? Will I not be able to play anymore? Will I not be able to walk? What,”

“Tobs,” younger girl cut her off before she would question herself into oblivion, “It’s not that. As far as they know your legs work fine. They are super weak from you being out for so long, but they have been responding to tests just fine.”

“Then what is wrong with me that I need specialists?”

Alex gently slipped her hand into Tobin’s to try and get her to relax. It worked a little. “How about we start with what you can remember? And I will text your mom and let her know you are awake.”

“Wait, can we call her?” Tobin asked shyly. 

“Yes of course,” Alex pulled out her phone and pulled up FaceTime, “Hey Mrs. Heath!”

“Alex, I thought I told you to call me Cindy?”

“I know I know. I’m trying.”

“I know dear. What’s up? Any updates?”

“Well,” Alex said as she rotated to fit Tobin in the picture with her.

“Tobin!” he mom screamed and almost dropped the phone.

“Hey mom. I heard I’ve caused a bit of trouble.”

“Oh honey, you did a bit,” they all chuckled together, “how long have you been awake?” 

“Not long,” Alex answered, “I would have called you sooner, but I didn't want it to be another false alarm, and Doc just left. He said she is doing just fine. He is going to let the other Doctors know she is awake, but wanted to give, or us, time to see what she remembers and tell her a little bit about what she missed.”

“Alright honey, do you want me to be there as soon as possible?”

“Whenever is fine. You can go ahead and shower if you need to. I can make Alex catch me up on stuff.”

“Okay sweetheart, I’ll be up there after a little while,” Cindy Heath said her goodbyes and hung up the phone to go shower. Tobin felt content. She could tell she missed her mom, btu she doesn't know how long she was “away” from her. 

“Okay, now what happened?”

“Tell me what you remember, and then I will fill in the blanks. Okay?” Tobin accepted that answer and began to think about the last thing she remembers. 

“I remember getting ready to go out. I remember going out with the team to celebrate being back. I remember one of us drinking too much,” she paused to smirk at Alex who looked away sadly. She could tell Alex remembered more than she wishes she did. “I remember taking you home and you finally kissing me after all these years, but I didn't want to take it too far because you were drunk, and I was scared.”

“Why were you scared?”

Tobin shifted so she could look Alex in the eyes, “I have wanted to kiss you for so long, and it was finally happening. But you were drunk. What if i let things keep going and you woke up and regretted it. What if you woke up and regretted even just the kiss? I couldn't take that chance, and i handled it horribly.”

“No you didn’t. I did. It’s my fault that this happened to you.”

“Al, I don’t remember exactly what happened afterwards, but I remember trying to talk you into going to bed and you got mad and told me to leave so I did. I went down to the bar down the street and I guess I drank more than I thought because that is the last thing I remember. I’m sorry Lex. I shouldn't have left.”

“Tobin, none of this is your fault. I am the one who told you to leave. I told you to leave and went to me room before you could even get out the door. I woke up the next morning with a hangover and confused when you weren’t there with water and Advil like you usually are the morning after I drink too much. I got up and went looking for you and that is when it all came rushing back to me. I remembered what happened and that it wasn't just a dream I had. I went to your room and you weren't there. Your bed had not been slept in. Your phone was gone. Your clothes from the night before weren't strewn everywhere like they usually are on mornings after. I had no clue where you were and I had no one to blame but myself. I started calling around to find you. I tried Allie first, but she didn't even know that we got into a fight,” Alex was starting to tear up, but she continued anyway, “Eventually I decided to track your phone. I tracked it to the bar and the day manager was just getting in for the morning to do inventory. He gave me your phone and promised to have the night guy call when he woke up. I went back to the apartment and waited for you to come home. Every time my phone even dinged I was hoping it was you. You never walked through the door. Allie came over to sit with me. We wanted to wait on calling the police which was so stupid. We should have called the second we found your phone at the bar.”

Alex had to take a break to breathe. She hadn't realized that she was holding her breath to tell the story. “Al, it’s okay. It’s not your fault. Look at me, I am right here in front of you and according to the Doctor I am perfectly fine.” 

“Tobin,” Alex paused before deciding to tell just tell her what happened, “Tobin you were kidnapped and raped. You were missing for five days and in a coma for about two months.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flashback of what Tobin can remember from that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo, I told you guys I would work on a few chapters to post when I first republished this story so here is Chapter 2. I will hold on to Chapter 3 for a bit just so I have something in case I don't get Chapter 4 done as soon as I am hoping to. Hope it doesn't suck. Much Love.

Flashback 

Tobin was putting the finishing touches on her outfit when she heard her phone ding. 

You two better not be late again! You do this every time! - Allie

Tobin chuckled at the text, “Hey Al, Harry is already texting me about us being late!” she yelled down the hall to Alex.

“Well she can suck it up. It takes time to look this good.”

“You could spend zero time getting ready and look just as good Al,” Tobin told her this every time. They were still late every time. 

“Yeah yeah, whatever you say,” Alex loved when Tobin would complement her. She knew the older girl had feelings for her, and when she was honest with herself she had the same feelings back. She never did anything about them and Tobin was too respectful to act on hers. She loved being near Tobin. Her presence made Alex feel more grounded and safe. Tobin gave her the confidence to do anything. Anything but admit her feelings. She was afraid of what her family would think, what the world would think, and what it could do to their friendship. 

“For real Al, we gotta get a move on so hurry it up,” Tobin was in the kitchen getting a glass of water. She knew it didn't matter what she said, they were going to be late. So she sat on the counter with a glass of water and waited on her best friend to finally be done getting ready. 

About 20 minutes later (15 minutes after they should have left) Alex was finally ready and came strolling down the hall, “alright, I’m ready to go.” Tobin had to grab for her water. The second she saw the younger girl her mouth went dry. “Tobs? You alright there?” Alex could tell what her outfit was doing to Tobin, and it was exactly what she had planned. While she was terrified of what could happen, she was also ready to risk it all. She knew that this next year was going to be crazy with the World Cup and the Thorns. She wanted to take the plunge before any of that got started. Today, Saturday February 1, 2014 she was going to tell Tobin how she felt. After team dinner of course. 

“Yeah,” Tobin shook out of her trance, “I’m good. You look great Al. You ready to go? Harry is going to kill us for being late again.”

“I’m ready. She should know that the start of a new season does not mean the start of a new Alex.” Tobin grabbed her car keys and locked the door behind them. She hustled to open the car door for Alex like she often does when they are all dressed up. She does her best to make Alex fell like she is a queen. They headed off to team dinner. When they arrived Tobin once again hustled to open the door for Alex, “always the gentlewoman.” Alex would joke. The team saw the encounter through the giant windows of the restaurant. They all knew how in love Tobin was, and they all had watched Alex start to fall. They sat anxiously waiting the day for Alex to figure it out herself. 

Once they got inside and sat down Allie started in on them, “seriously guys? 15 minutes late? We could have ordered by now!”

“Oh calm down Allie, they just seated us 5 minutes ago,” Kling chimed in. 

Tobin chuckled at the banter and sat down. Alex was directly across from Allie with Tobin to her right. “Well, someone sure is dressed up tonight. I can see why it took you guys so long,” Allie made a face at Alex while Tobin started in on the menu. 

“Takes time to look this good. Had to dress nice for my girls,” Alex answered. It always started with dinner and ended with dancing. Even if dancing wasn’t the plan. It was their last free day before preseason began so they had to start it off with a bang and welcoming the new kids. 

Dinner was relatively uneventful. The team ordered and ate without any issues. Kling acted like her usual childish self and most everyone ignored her antics. Allie kept giving Alex the stare down. She knew how Alex and Tobin felt about each other because both had confided in her. She was worried for Tobin. She didn’t want Alex to mess with her head. The younger girl could tell how Tobin felt, but Tobin was so blind that she didn't know how Alex felt back. 

The team headed out to enjoy some dancing. Alex had already had two drinks at dinner and was having another when they got to the club. She knew it was going to take a little liquid courage to get her to start the conversation of telling Tobin how she felt, but she was already going too far. Some of the girls went and danced while Tobin and Allie sat at the bar watching. “She looks nice tonight,” Allie commented.

“Yeah, took her forever as usual.”

“You’ve been staring at her all night Harry,” Allie’s tone softened. She knew how much her friend was hurting. 

“How can I not? She’s beautiful. Not just today, but every day. She takes my breath away every day Allie, and I don’t know what to do.” Tobin was distraught about her situation. 

“Well, right now she is having fun and she looks like she wants her best friend to dance with her. Go dance Toby,” Allie shoved her off the stool and in the direction of the superstar. 

Tobin smirked back at her and headed straight for the group of her teammates dancing in the middle of the whole crowd. For the most part people would leave them alone when they all went out like that.   
When Alex saw Tobin she pulled her closer and danced face to face with her friend. As the songs went on and moods changed the girls got closer and closer. Alex was drunk. Tobin knew this so she was keeping just enough space in between them. The younger girls had gone home by now. Allie came over to talk to the girls, “hey, I think it’s time to go home. We have team meetings tomorrow.” The girls agreed. It wasn’t super late. The club was still packed, but they it was time to start being professionals again. Tobin leads Alex to the door and they both said by to Allie. She opens the car door and buckled Alex in. 

They pulled into the apartment complex just after 11:45. Tobin got her into their place and got the door closed. Before she could even tell Alex to go get ready for bed lips were on hers and she was being backed into a wall. Alex had kissed her and she had frozen in place. She didn't know how to react. Eventually her mind caught up with the situation and she stopped Alex, “Al, you’re drunk.”

“I don't care. I want this,” Alex kissed her again. Tobin was on a whole other planet. The girl she had been in love with for years was kissing her, but she was drunk. Not tipsy. Not buzzed. Drunk. Regrettably drunk. 

“Alex stop,” Tobin held her a little more sternly, “you have to stop. I don't want you to regret this.”

“I won't. I have wanted this for so long Tobs. I’ve wanted you for so long. I planned on telling you tonight and I guess this was a good a way how as any.” Alex started to grab for Tobin’s shirt and undo her pants.

“ALEX STOP,” Tobin all but shoved her away that time. “I don't want you to do anything that you wither aren't going to remember or are going to wake up and hate yourself or me for.”

“Do you not want me?” Alex started to get defensive. “I have seen the way you look at me. The way you make sure no guys ever come near me when we are out like tonight. I know how you feel about me, or was it all a lie?”

“It’s not a lie Al. I love you. I’ve been in love with you for years now, but I’m not going to do this while you're drunk. It's not fair to either of us. We can talk about this in the morning.” Tobin eased up on the hold she had on the younger girl. She could tell that Alex was still drunk and also very pissed off at her being told no.

“Fine. If you don't want me then just leave,” Alex backed off and pointed towards the door.

“Alex,” Tobin started in before being interrupted.

“No, just leave Tobin. You don't want me. You won’t be with me so I don't want you here. Get out!” Alex shouted as she backed away from Tobin. The older girl surrendered. She grabbed her keys and headed out the door. She paused after closing it to see what the younger girl would do. Nothing happened so she walked out of the complex and down the road to a bar. 

As she walked she pulled out her phone. She thought about calling Allie, but decided against it. She knew it would only make matters worse. When she got to the bar she had her first drink of the night. She sat down with a beer in front of her and sipped on it for about an hour. Part of her wanted to get wasted and try to forget what just happened, but the responsible part of her didn't let that happen. She had team meetings tomorrow. She had to show up and be the leader, but she wanted to wait it out until Alex would be asleep so she could return home and try to get some rest. With any luck Alex won't remember what happened. She decided to go ahead and have another. She ordered it and then ran to the bathroom. 

She came back and got about halfway through her beer. The next thing she knew was pain. Pain and Alex’s voice.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey team, here is Chapter 3! Chapter 4 is almost done and I should have it up soon. Let me know what you think. Much love.

“I sat back down and started to drink my beer before heading home,” Tobin finished recapping her story to Alex. 

“Do you remember walking home?”

“No. I don't think so. Just sitting back down and then pain,” the older girl realized she misspoke the last part when she saw the sudden look of horror on the young forward’s face. “Pain and hearing your voice. Which was much better than the pain by the way. So worth waking up in pain.”

“Seriously Tobs?” Alex cracked a smile, “flirting with me even in a hospital bed.”

“Sorry. It’s a habit at this point.”

“Don’t be,” Alex kissed her forehead, “I love it when you flirt with me.”

“Al, I think we need to talk. We need to talk about what happened and that night. I mean I don't even know what all happened after all of that, but we need to talk about what I do remember. We can talk about my medical status and all that too. Considering I have no idea really where that stands.”

“Toby, we will. We will get to that, but we need to go over the parts that we know first. I promise in a day or two when all of this settles in we will talk about what happened between us taht night. The only thing you need to know for sure is that I am not going anywhere. I promise love.” Alex brought Tobin’s hand up to her lips and gently kissed the back of it. They sat in silence for a minute before they door swung open and Tobin’s mom rushed at Tobin. 

“Tobin! Honey I am so glad you finally woke up,” she said pulling away from the hug, “you had this one over here scared out of her mind. We have to bully her in to leaving the hospital just to shower.”

“Yeah but now that she is awake they are moving us to a room with a shower so I will never have to leave again.”

“Ummm, yes you will,” Alex tried to hide her hurt look from Tobin but she wasn't successful. The older girl smiled, “you have to go to training Al. Someone has to harass Kling for me and I’m sure Harry is about tired of her.” They both laughed. Tobin knew how she said all of that had Alex scared for a minute, but it was also exactly how things were before and she thought that was what they were going for. 

“Okay okay, I guess I will leave when I have to go to training and games. But I am coming right back here as soon as I am done.’

“I wouldn't have it any other way,” Tobin turned to ask her mom something, “so I am assuming you have told everyone else I woke up. Right?”

“Oh! Crap we should call your father.” Cindy heath picked up the phone to call her husband. It wasn't their normal scheduled time, so Mr.Heath answered the phone in a fluster.

“What’s wrong? Is she okay? Is it Alex?”

“Honey calm down and see for yourself,” Cindy turned the camera around to show Tobin sitting up and waving at him. They could hear him start to cry through the phone. Cindy gave the phone to Tobin and let the two talk for about half an hour. She took the phone back only when one of the Doctors came in.

“Hey, I’, Dr. Michaels. I heard you were awake and I wanted to come check in,” he introduced himself and held out a hand.

Tobin reached back to shake the Doctor’s hand, “It’s nice to meet you. So which part of all of the things I haven't figured out yet are you in charge of?”

They both chuckled, “I’m your ortho guy. You have a couple broken ribs and some very minor fractures in various parts of your legs and arms. Now before I go into more detail, how much do you know about what happened?”

“Basically nothing Sir. Alex just filled me in on very little, but no one really wants to talk much about it.’

“Well then I am going to save the detailed stuff for tomorrow. All you really need to know about what I did is that when they had you open I went ahead and placed some wires in to hold your ribs in place so they could heal. We do not usually do that with broken ribs, but yours were pretty severe and they already had you open for some internal bleeding. The good news is that your ribs are healing nicely, and when the times comes you should be able to go back to playing without any issues from that. You just may have some issues with airport security.” 

Tobin took a second to process all of that. It hadn't actually crossed her mind that she had surgery, but she was surprisingly okay with it. She was awake and functioning so it couldn't be that bad. “Alright,” was all Tobin could get out in the midst of processing all of this new information. 

“Tobs, are you okay?” Alex asked sweetly from beside her. 

“Yeah, I’m good. Just processing. I guess I hadn’t actually realized that I had surgery. Wow. I’m fine. It is just now sinking in how bad this could have been.” She turned to face the younger girl, “I am so sorry Lex. I will be more careful in the future.”

Alex’s heart broke hearing her best friend take the blame for what happened. It was in no way Tobin’s fault. It was not Alex’s either, but no one could convince the young forward otherwise. The worst part is that the fact that the older girl had surgery won't be the only thing she has to process in the nest few hours. She doesn't know how they are going to tell Tobin the rest of what happened. 

“Well, everything looks fine on my end,” Dr. Michaels spoke up, “so I am going to leave you all be for the time being. I would like to get one more set of images in a couple days. I don’t know what the plan is as far as when they will release you now that you are awake, but for me as long as you aren’t in too much pain and will agree to take it easy for just a few more weeks you are clear. I will make that note in your charts. Good to finally meet you Tobin, these two sure do talk a lot about you.”

“Good to meet you too sir,” Tobin replied sheepishly. 

“Dr. Michaels,” Alex stood to ask him the question, “can you have Dr. Jones give us a few hours? We haven’t gone over everything that happened and want to give her time to process some things.”

“Yeah of course,” Dr. Michaels checked the charts, “it says she was in here this morning so she may not even need to come back until tomorrow, but I will let her know to give you guys a little time.”

“Thank you for everything,” Cindy said as he ducked out of the room with a nod. “Alright lets call your sisters yeah?”

“Yes! I miss them,” Tobin’s face lit up at the mention of calling her sisters. Alex smiled at her. Seeing her best friend not only awake, but awake and smiling was refreshing after two months without that smile. Cindy dialed up Perry, but was sent to voicemail. She left a message to call her back soon, but not to worry because everything was perfectly fine. Next they tried Katie. She answered on the second ring and Cindy immediately turned the camera around. They were pretty sure you could hear her scream through the phone all the way down the hall. They talked for about an hour about everything. Meaningless gossip mostly, but Tobin had ‘missed so much due to her two month nap.’ They were all able to laugh and get some much needed joy from the time. Eventually Katie had to go back to work so they let her go with the promise of a second phone call either that evening or tomorrow. 

When they got off the phone Alex and Cindy looked at each other knowing what they had to do next, “Tobin, we need to talk about what happened to you and what that means for your future.”

“Mom, Alex already told me,” Cindy looked between her daughter and Alex. Alex shook her head slightly. There was one thing she still hadn’t told her. “I know mom. I know I was raped, and I know I should probably feel more about that then I currently do. Maybe I am still processing. Maybe I’m not processing because I have zero memory of it. But I know.”

“Okay honey, okay.” Cindy sat on the edge of the bed and took Tobin’s hand in hers, “Tobin, honey, there is one more thing we need to tell you. Before I tell you I want you to do your best to stay calm, and know that we support whatever decision you make. We understand that you didn’t have the choice in the first place, so having a fully supported choice now is something we want you to have.”

“Okay mom, I understand. But you are starting to worry me. What is wrong?” She looked to Alex for answers. She could see the worry on her face. It always made her worry when Alex made this face. She looked almost guilty. Guilty for knowing things? Guilty for having to tell her what happened? Did she still feel guilty for what happened?

“It isn’t exactly that something is wrong,” Alex chimed in, “we just wanted you to feel supported before we tell you.”

“I do. I feel loved and supported.” 

Cindy and Alex shared a look. Alex nodded at her as she started to tear up. She couldn't believe they were going to have to deliver this news to her best friend. She never imagined being in this situation with anyone, let alone Tobin. “Tobin,” Cindy took a breath, “you’re pregnant.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here ya go fam..... Sorry I'm horrible at life.

“You’re pregnant.”

“I’m sorry, I’m what?” Tobin needed to know if she heard her mother correctly. She almost laughed at how crazy this sounded, but the fact that Alex was not looking at her told her that they were not joking.

“You’re pregnant,” Cindy paused again and let Tobin process. Hearing it a second time sent her quiet, “I know this is a lot to think about. I am so sorry you have to find out like this. Sitting in a hospital bed. You need to know because one of your doctors is an OBGYN and we didn’t want to blind side you when she came in to check on you. I don’t know how much you want to know, but I will say this: according to the Doctor, everything with the baby is fine miraculously. I guess whatever drugs were in your system didn't hurt it.” Tobin just stared off into space. “Tobin, I am going to go call the rest of the family and let them know that you are awake. Are you okay here with just Alex?”

“Yeah,” Tobin managed to get out. The other two women took her response as a good sign. Better than some of the scenarios they had played up in their heads for when they would have to tell her. Neither of them had let themselves get to excited about the idea that there would be a mini Tobin. They did not want to get their hopes up and then something go wrong because of the coma or if Tobin decided this was not something she wanted. Only Tobin’s family, the doctors, and Alex knew about the baby. Cindy left the room to make a few calls and Alex sat next to Tobin with her head down. “Lex,” was all Tobin could manage to form in words. The younger girl lifted her head. Tobin could see tears forming in her eyes. She panicked. What if Alex thought she got pregnant before the incident? What if Alex was upset with her? What was running through her best friend’s mind? Tobin stopped trying to process everything else in her mind and focused on the younger girl. “Lex, I’m so sorry,” Alex just looked at her confused but before she could respond Tobin continued, “I swear this didn't happen before whatever happened to me. I promise I wasn’t keeping anything from you. I would never keep something like that from you.”

 

Alex started to cry more, “Oh Tobin, I know. I know this didn’t happen before.”

“Then why are you crying?”

“I have been so worried about you for two months. Worried that you might not ever wake up. Worried about how to tell you all of this is you did. Worried that you wouldn’t want to see me when you woke up. For a while I was worried about you mom realizing how in love with you I am and her not wanting me around. That’s not the case by the way. She knows how in love with you I am and she said she is totally okay with it. Even after I told her that I am the reason you are in here. But that is not the important part of this. Tobin, you have nothing to be sorry for. Especially not this. We have just been so concerned with how you will react. I still am.”

“Oh,” Tobin paused, “well, I don’t think it is actually processing yet. It is a lot to take in. I was missing for a week and then in a coma for 2 months, and I was all messed up when you found me. Now you are telling me that there is a tiny human depending on me for life. It’s a lot. I will probably be processing for a while. Suppose if I was in a coma for 2 months that means I’m 2 months along?”

“That’s what the doctors say. They aren’t exactly sure on the date, so we decided just to measure based on the day we found you. So yeah right at two months. 8 weeks. But we understand if you don’t want it. You didn’t get to make the decision in the first place, so it’s only right that you get a choice now.”

“Right, umm do I have time to think about it?”

“Yeah I think so.”

“The doctor said everything is fine though? Like it is healthy?”

“Yeah. They have been monitoring you pretty closely. A few times a day. They started to come in less once all the drugs were out of your system. They upped your fluids and the amount of stuff you get because of the baby, but they said everything looks great.”

“Good,” Tobin was finally starting to really think about everything. “Lex?”

“Yeah babe?”

“What was that about my mom knowing things?” Tobin kind of smiled remembering Alex’s ramble about being in love with her.

“Oh, well one day while we were just sitting her your mom asked if I had gotten any sleep and of course the answer was no,” Alex started in on the story. She told Tobin about Cindy making a big deal of her not sleeping or eating. They went back ans forth with Alex said that she couldn’t sleep knowing her best friend was laying there and may not wake up and Cindy chuckled and say ‘yeah sure, best friend.’ “When I asked her what she mean by that she told me she could tell by the way I look at you that I don’t want to just be your best friend. She said it is the same way you look at me when I’m not looking.” 

“Wow, well okay.”

“What? I’m sorry Tobin, should I not have been around so much?”

“Oh, no no. I’m glad you’re here. Maybe not that you weren’t sleeping, but I’m glad you were here when I woke up. I’m glad she knows. She knows and she is okay?”

Alex breathed a sigh of relief and grabbed Tobin’s had, “she is okay. But I tell you what, I will let you guys talk about everything and I will go call the team when she gets back. They will be thrilled to know you’re awake. How does that sound?”

“Yeah that sounds good. Thank you Lex. For everything. I know it was probably helpful for mom to have you here.”

“You’re welcome Toby,” Alex stood up to kiss Tobin on the cheek just as Cindy was walking back in. Alex excused herself to make a few phone calls and gave Cindy a hug on her way out the door.

“Mom, can I ask you something?”

“Of course honey,” Cindy said softly. 

“Are you really okay?”

“Am I okay? My baby is finally awake after two months, of course I’m okay.”

“Sorry, I should be more specific. Alex just told me that the two of you talked about me. Well about me and her. Are you really okay with it?”

“Okay with you being gay?” Cindy asked. Tobin nodded weakly in response. “Honey,” Cindy grabbed her daughter’s hand, “I have known since you were little. I know your father and I weren’t always good about things like that, but the older you got the more I had to tell myself that one day you were going to have to make a choice. So I decided to eliminate the choice all together and started to work on me and on me getting over it. I never want you to have to choose between us and being happy. Or to ever feel like you have to choose between those two things. I will do everything in my power to make sure you are happy and have your family. So yes, I am okay. I am even more okay because you fell in love with Alex. She is an amazing young woman and we love having her in our lives. I could tell from the first time you introduced us to her that she was it for you. I watched it take her a little longer, but I knew she would fall for my beautiful daughter. My beautiful, kind, strong, genuine daughter.”

Tobin had started to cry a little. She had imagined telling her mom hundreds of times, but none of them went quite like this. To be fair, none of them were with her in a hospital bed either. “Thank you mom. I’m not 100% sure about Alex though. And with all of this that just happened I don’t know how that will affect the outcome.”

“All of what honey? She has been here as much as any one person can. We had to make her go to training and to go home to sleep. Some nights she slept here. She blamed herself and she loves you far too much to leave. She and I talked about a lot more, but I will leave that bit for the two of you to discuss when you’re ready.”

“Wait, talked about what?”

“Well, you took quite the nap so we had plenty of time to talk. Any time the doctors would give us updates or news we would talk about it. We would talk about what it would mean when you woke up and what decisions we might have to make if you took longer or didn’t wake up. There was a lot to discuss and I didn’t know what to do alone. I am the person they have down to make decisions if you can’t, but she is the one who has been with you for the past few years. She deserved to at least be apart of the discussion.”

“She stayed knowing everything? Well, as much as there is to know?”

“Yes Tobin, I am telling you that girl loves you. You two need to have a talk. Soon. That girl loves you. You are just too stubborn to see it.”

Tobin smiled, maybe it would be okay. She needed to talk to Alex, but she also needed to figure out what all of this meant for her. Before any of that however, she needed to rest. “Mom, is it alright if I take a nap?”

“Yes of course honey, as long as you wake up,” they both chuckled as Tobin got comfortable and drifted off to sleep. She had many decisions to think over, but she could worry about that after she got some rest. 

 

 

Tobin woke again to Alex’s voice. “Toby, you need to wake up for a few. There are doctors here to talk to you,” her soft voice broke through the fog of sleep. As Tobin opened her eyes she met Alex’s. The younger girl smiled, “hey there. It is so good to see your beautiful eyes again. If I’m being honest I was a little worried when I came back and you were asleep.”

“Hey, I’m good. I’m awake. Just taking a little nap. What’s up? Who do I need to talk to?”

“The OBGYN who has been on your case and Dr. Thomas. They just want to check in.”

“Cool,” Tobin groaned a little as she sat up in bed. “So, now that I know all the big stuff can we go over all that has happened since I have been here?”

“Yeah I think we can do that,” Dr. Thomas replied. He turned to the woman standing next to him, “this is Dr. Jones. She has been on your case since we figured out that you were pregnant. She is the best in her department and in the surrounding area if I am being honest. You have been and will be in good hands with her.”

“It’s nice to meet you. Thank you for taking good care of us,” Tobin said as she reached out her hand to shake the doctors. Alex took note in how Tobin said ‘us’ and not ‘me’. 

“It’s my pleasure. If I’m being honest it is nice to have something a little more challenging every now and then,” they both share a chuckle. “I’ll be as gentle as possible but I do need to have a look if that is alright.”

“Of course, whatever you need,” Dr. Jones rolled a monitor over and had Tobin lift her blanket and adjust so she could start the ultrasound. “Tobin, you need to breathe please.”

Tobin released a breath she hadn't realized she had been holding. “Sorry, I guess I’m a little nervous.”

“That is perfectly okay. You don’t have to see anything if you don’t want to. I just need to make sure nothing has changed since you have joined the waking community again.”

“Okay Doc,” Tobin sighed. She quietly reached for Alex’s hand as she watched the Doctor. move the wand over her abdomen. Alex squeezed the older girl’s hand gently to reassure her that she was there and that everything was going to be okay. They washed the Doctor. work in silence until Tobin finally got up the courage to speak, “hey Doc, I think I’d like to see if that’s okay.” Alex smiled slightly. She had been looking at all of the sonogram pictures since they found out. She couldn’t help but be in awe.

“Yeah that is perfectly fine,” Dr. Jones turned the monitor towards the girls, “okay, you see that little bean looking thing?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s the baby. Now if you’ll give me just a second I will show you something even cooler.” Tobin was already amazed. What could be cooler than this? There was a tiny human growing inside her and somehow it had survived its own hell already. After a moment they all heard a swooshing sound. Dr. Jones cut in after a few seconds, “that is the heartbeat. Nice and strong. Exactly what we want to hear.” 

Tobin’s eyes started to spill over as she sat in complete wonder. She never thought that at this point in her life she would even be thinking about kids let alone listening to the heartbeat of the unborn child she just found out about. No matter the circumstances she has already fallen in love. A love she never knew was possible. She heard a sniffle come from next to her and saw Alex crying too. Her mind immediately panicked. “Lex, whats wrong?”

“Nothing Toby, nothing is wrong,” Alex squeezed her hand again. “I have spent the past few weeks looking at these and listening to that heartbeat go in time with your monitors, and it is so much better to listen to it with you being able to too.”

“Lex, I am so sorry you had to go through that alone, but I am glad you got to hear it. I am glad there was someone so important to listen. I hate that you had to be here, but I am glad you were.”

“Tobin Powell Heath, don’t you dare feel bad about any of this. None of this is your fault,” Alex looked at her lovingly and then smiled slyly before adding, “I mean you could have woken up a little sooner, but whatever.” They both chuckled before being bringing their attention back to the monitor. 

“Everything is okay Doc? With whatever happened and being out for so long?”

“So far everything is looking perfect. I do want to keep a closer eye on you than I would my other patients, but yes everything looks great. The baby has a strong fetal heartbeat and is measuring a good size. All of your levels are reading great. Now this does mean you will be out of soccer a little longer. It was affect your recovery overall. Probably slow it down a little. Your other Doctors and I have been talking about the best plan for you. There are things we would normally do to help speed up the process, but we just couldn’t take the risk with you not knowing. Do you understand?”

“Yeah of course. Small price to pay. I can survive just watching for a little while. I’m just glad everything is okay.”

Dr. Jones cleaned up the gel and put away the monitor. As she was getting up to go grab the printed out sonogram pictures she turned around, “I know this has been a lot to handle in the short time you have been awake. You have a lot to process and think about. Just know that if you do decided that this is something that you don’t want, that you have options.” 

Tobin looked confused for a minute. All at once it hit her what the Doctor was telling her, and it had her more confused than before, “okay Doc. Thank you. Thank you for making sure we were both okay these past two months. Or however long you have been involved.”

“It’s been my pleasure really. Your family has been wonderful to get to know, and I feel like I already know you because of how much this one talks about you,” Dr. Jones nodded towards Alex who blushed and tried to hide her face. “You get some rest. I will be back tomorrow to just check in. I want to monitor you pretty closely these first few days to make sure everything stays where it needs to be.”

“That sounds great Doc.” Dr. Jones left and Dr. Thomas got settled on a rolling chair so he could talk to Tobin eye to eye. “Alright Doc, lay it all out for me and then put it in simple people terms please.”

Dr. Thomas laughed before opening up Tobin’s chart, “Alex want to help fill in some blanks and translate?”

“Oh, yeah I can do that. Where are we starting?”

“Lets start with the night you found her.”


End file.
